Copulating on the wing

Supercharging your wellbeing

An empty Muller Rice pot and a novelty shaped dayglo-yellow pencil eraser

Shouting Raymond

Going up to Julie’s (because she’s got a seat outside)

Shooting squirrels

Getting round the wife with a box of chocolates

Sticking a penny to a bin with a blob of gob

Slipping on a pool of frozen dog piss

Cable-tie repairs

Carrying things out within the usual framework

Topiary armchairs

Eating some shat-out berries on top of a gate post

Getting stuck in the lift (for half an hour, until the engineers come to open the door)

Leaning on a broken fence in sportswear

Wet-look leggings

Asking for directions to your own house

Righting a cockchafer (with the toe-end of your boot)

Space Raiders/Jelly Tots/Tesco bags

Large men walking small dogs and large women talking at the bus stop

Adjusting your cock

Zumba, Yoga for Pregnancy and a Craft Workshop

Something heavy by Yves Saint Laurent

A new craze from America – like skateboarding

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Disembodied hands

Driving to Blackpool

Waiting for the crash

Waiting for Shakira

Scrawling across Jesus' face in biro

Police helicopters at bedtime

Booting an empty packet of Superkings across the road

Smoking in the shower

Wearing England slippers

Getting off the bus at Berry Brow

Consolidating your Argos bags